Spending too much time and money shopping? Here's how you can take control

Do you find yourself regularly browsing the shops on your lunch break or mindlessly scrolling online stores at night?

A review by the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC) has found one in six consumers struggle with credit card debt and Australian households are spending more than they're earning.

The drive to shop when you don't really need to (we're excluding essentials like food, utilities and transport here) is often described as compulsive shopping or shopping addiction by those who work with people wanting to change their habits.

Josette Freeman is the senior program manager at SMART Recovery Australia, a free national program providing help for people with addictive behaviour problems.

While few people come to SMART Recovery groups specifically for shopping addiction, she says it does come up as an issue on a regular basis.

"Normally it comes secondary. They won't come strictly for that, they might come with a problem with alcohol and then in a few weeks they say, 'Oh actually, shopping is my thing'," she says.

So, how do you know when a bit of "retail therapy" is slipping into addictive behaviour? And what might be driving us to shop when we shouldn't?

I asked Ms Freeman and Michelle Laving, a Sydney-based counsellor who specialises in helping people with problem shopping habits, about what can drive problematic shopping. Four common reasons emerged.

I'm bored. Let's shop!

Boredom can drive us to do lots of things we probably shouldn't — eating too much, playing video games for hours on end, buying things we don't need and over spending.

Whether you find yourself heading to the shops to break up your working day, or scroll through online stores when the kids are asleep, filling your time with browsing can lead to a leaner bank account.

Online shopping might seem harmless, especially if you're mainly browsing, but the time spent looking can be problematic, with Australians spending more time on eBay and Realestate.com than YouTube or Pornhub.

"People are very happy to spend hours online just looking at shopping," Ms Freeman says.

"[Your] life is taken away, if … you're spending all this time on the internet, you're not really present with your family."

Here's what can help:

• Set yourself time limits for shopping, both for in-store browsing and online, and set an alarm to remind you to stop.
• Delete shopping apps from your phone, so the temptation isn't there.
• Find something else to occupy your time, whether it's going for a walk on your lunch break, reading a book or organising a coffee with a friend. Finding something to replace shopping is a big help when it comes to breaking the habit.

Shopping as escapism to deal with negative feelings

You've had a crappy day at work and the kids were especially hard to wrangle this morning. You're grumpy and feeling down, so you indulge in a little "retail therapy" after work.

Shopping as a way to deal with feelings like sadness, frustration or anger is pretty common, Ms Laving says.

"Spending on occasional things to treat ourselves is normal," she says.

Ms Freeman says using shopping to cheer yourself up after a difficult day is a bit like having a glass of wine or beer after a bad day.

"That's fine if you're having the one drink, but if you're drinking the whole bottle in one sitting or buying all this stuff that you can't afford or aren't going to use, it becomes problematic," she says.

Ms Laving says: "It's not about depriving yourself, it's about being mindful."

Here's what can help:

• Ask yourself why you're shopping. If it's to deal with negative emotions, is there another way you can address them without spending money?
• Before pulling out your wallet, pause and ask yourself, "Do I actually need it? Do I already have it? Where will I put it? Can I afford it?"
• If shopping has become a way to escape certain feelings or issues, you might consider finding a counsellor or someone who can help you find a more sustainable way to cope long-term.

Finding human connection at the shops

Sometimes it's not the products or services that have us heading to the shops.

"One of the drives for [some compulsive shoppers] is the interaction with sales assistants," Ms Laving says.

Going to the shops as a way to spend time with people is more common with older people and those who spend most of their time at home, due to mobility problems or because they're carers, she says.

Here's what can help:

• Instead of hitting the shops for a chat, look for other places where you'll have a chance to interact with others.
• Local councils and libraries often offer free or inexpensive activities. Other options might include volunteering or physical activity.

Buying to boost self-esteem and status

We live in a commercial world where we're surrounded by ads — on billboards, TV, in magazines, plus the targeted ones that trail us online.

Many of us follow social media "influencers" who highlight products as part of their highly curated content, blurring the lines between personal recommendation and paid advertising.

Investing in products, whether it's the latest and greatest tech, or a new item of clothing "may be a way of trying to purvey to the world an image of the way they want to be seen," Ms Laving says.

Here's what can help:

• Ms Laving's advice for anyone with a spending problem is to first get help to bring your finances under control.
• Financial Counselling Australia can be accessed for free and ASIC's Money Smart website has information on where to find help.
• Once the money-side is under control, the next step may be to seek counselling to help you what's really driving your overspending and help you find other ways to build self-esteem and a sense of worth.

This is general information only. For detailed personal advice you should see a qualified financial counsellor or mental health professional for personalised assistance.