Unwinding doesn't come naturally to many. Even in Australia, where we have the reputation for being laid back, most people have to make a concerted effort to prioritise rest and switch off.
In addition to the very real demands, responsibilities and costs of living, there can be a pressure to always be working.
What if instead of setting goals to achieve more and improve ourselves, we put connection with ourselves and others at the centre of our rituals for the new year?
As inspiration, here are nine ideas on how to rethink and prioritise downtime. They come from the Unwind with... weekly column where I ask Australians to share the simple ways they take care of themselves.
1. Swap your to-do list for a daily success plan
Former triple j presenter turned podcast host Linda Marigliano has a tangible way of ensuring she achieves balance across all aspects of her life. She keeps a daily success plan that's divided into four quarters using the subheadings wellbeing, work, social, and personal.
"Each [section] has three dot points, so with the wellbeing subheading, for example, I might have to do stretches, go for a walk outside, and do 30 minutes of reading before bed," she says.
"I can see at a glance if things are off balance."
2. Listen to your body
As author and advocate Hannah Diviney says, "If you can manage to tune out the little voice in your brain that worries about what other people think or social expectations, your body will tell you exactly what you need."
Everybody and every body is different, says Hannah, so it's about finding a way to be in touch with your body that works for you.
For maths teacher Eddie Woo, this looks like long distance running when he has the chance: "One time I ran 15 kilometres listening to Africa by Toto on repeat!" he says.
3. Ask for help
Another challenge to unwinding can be the sheer overwhelm people face in their busy day-to-day lives. How can you afford downtime when there is simply no time?
As Gardening Australia host Hannah Moloney reminds us, people love to help but we often forget to ask. When her partner broke his hip, she turned to her community for support.
"Food is often the thing I get help with. I recently organised a meal train using a dinner roster from the internet. If friends had time, they could pick a night and drop off food for us. Community is gold," she says.
4. Picture your 'dream day'
If you're at a loss for what to do on holidays or feel the pressure to develop a self-care routine, this simple day dreaming exercise from psychologist Chris Cheers can help:
"Each morning I check in with my body to see how I'm feeling and what I need. I might set aside 10 minutes to think about my "dream day", and then consider what achievable action I can do to bring me closer to that day," he says.
5. Embrace imperfection
Instead of waiting for the perfect time to truly rest, we can embrace imperfection and let go. As recipe developer Lina Jebeile says, "Over the years, I've had to learn to let go of a lot of things. It's an ongoing learning process, but I try to remind myself I only have so much time to dedicate to something and prioritise my energy."
6. Let go of the idea of balance
We might strive for more work-life balance, but often life is more of a balancing act!
For country music singer Fanny Lumsden, it's been better for her peace of mind to embrace the chaos: "I would be super stressed if I tried to create a perfect separation [between work and family]. And so, for me, having everything quite blurred is helpful," she says.
Author and sustainability educator Hannah Moloney has a similar approach: "I've made peace with going past the point of balance in either direction, and it helps knowing time to unwind, potter and catch up on things is coming."
7. Practise saying no
If you have a tendency to overcommit, learning to say no can help you create more space for downtime.
For example, recently retired AFLW player Akec Makur Chuot says she is no longer a yes-woman. "I know my boundaries and how to say no, so I can have space for projects I'm passionate about," she says.
We might worry about disappointing others, but as psychologist Chris Cheers says, "Setting boundaries, having a difficult conversation, and saying no are forms of self-care, but they don't always make us feel good in the moment."
8. Have fun
It can be helpful to reframe downtime as simply doing things you enjoy.
As writer and editor Hannah Diviney says, it can be a horrible disservice in life not to have fun.
"I never want to be the person who gets to the end of their life and says maybe I should have had more fun. I'd prefer to just live and do the things that make me happy."
Author Charlotte Wood returns to a piece of advice that came her way during the pandemic.
"Somebody said to me the way that they survive lockdown is to just keep two words in mind: analogue and outside," she says.
"I thought that is great advice for life, really — to get offline and get outside."
9. Remember everything ebbs and flows
If there is one common theme I've encountered in my conversations both for this column and in researching my book, I Didn't Do The Thing Today, it's that everything ebbs and flows. Both the inhale, and the exhale, are what keep us alive!
Remembering this is helpful during both the restful and the busy periods.
Appreciation can also help us accept whatever phase we are in. Perhaps we can take a page from Akec Makur Chuot's book and be grateful for our downtime and "take it with two hands."
Unwind with… is produced by Madeleine Dore, a writer, interviewer and author of I Didn't Do The Thing Today.