Australian model Ellie Gonsalves shared 118 reasons to be childfree. The response was unsurprising

Australian model Ellie Gonsalves this week shared 118 reasons why she doesn't want to have kids.

"You could get postpartum depression" and "they can poo inside you" were among the mix of very real, and satirical, reasons the 33-year-old shared on her Instagram.

While some people praised Gonsalves' decision to remain childfree, others have labelled her choice and list "self-centred", highlighting the positive side of parenting.

After years of reporting on women who are childfree by choice, along with my own experience with motherhood indecision, one thing I know for sure is: women can choose not to have kids, but not without pressure to change their mind.

Women are having fewer children

Data from the ABS shows Australian women are having fewer children for a variety of reasons.

And while a life without parenting is not always a choice, we know there are many reasons women in particular are deciding kids aren't for them.

The motherhood penalty, climate change, overpopulation, financial considerations, lack of village, and mental and emotional wellbeing are just some on the list.

And to quote Gonsalves: "You are tired all the time."

As the mother of a two-year-old, I can confirm.

Her concern that her hypothetical child could become a serial killer, however, is not something I've spent much time thinking about.

'No regrets'

Common responses women experience when disclosing they don't wish to have children are "you will change your mind" and "you will regret it when you're older".

A study from Edith Cowan University found the majority of participants over 50 who did not have children did not regret their decision, with some having 'no regrets.'

It found women who chose not to have children received more negative comments than men, who also said they had received critical comments.

Other research has found most women who choose to be childfree don't regret their decision.

Many I've spoken to are living their dream: travelling, volunteering, and revelling in their own company.

Raising real concerns

While some of Gonsalves' cons for motherhood were tongue-in-cheek, others like her concerns around the physical toll of pregnancy and childbirth are valid.

"Childbirth could cause vaginal prolapse" and "clogged milk ducts during lactation" are some mentioned in her post.

The ABC's Birth Project, a year-long investigation into birth and beyond, found that many people felt they went into the birthing experience without sufficient knowledge of what to expect, or clarity about the impact of decisions.

Birth trauma was a common theme from those who shared their stories. 

While Gonsalves has chosen not to have children, talking about concerns can help those who want to have them be better prepared and informed.

Your story is not their story

In stories about those living childfree, we've heard from women who are quite happy to be the 'cool aunty', for example, and hand their little loved ones back after a day of fun.

These experiences show someone's lack of desire for parenthood does not erase another's love for it, or mean they aren't happy for others to be parents.

Gonsalves said it best at the end of the day:

"I am not suggesting for one moment that having children is the wrong thing to do, nor am I suggesting it is the right thing to do. It's a personal decision.

"What's wrong with having differing opinions that aren't hurtful or hateful?"