Is your online community a little bit culty? These are the signs

When Rae was pregnant with her first child, she joined a car seat safety group online for advice.

While helpful information was on offer, the Perth local aged in her 30s describes an "undercurrent of nastiness" led by an "army of cult-like followers" in the group.

She says even people who share they are doing the right thing by law can be "ripped to shreds" and "bombarded with rants and accusations" if a member doesn't deem it as safe.

We're not suggesting the group Rae joined is an actual cult.

But there are elements to some online communities that resonate with "total control groups", explains Martine Kropkowski, a higher degree research candidate at the University of Queensland who is looking at the role language and community-generated narratives play in coercing and controlling members of cult-like organisations.

"Using the word cult too much really diminishes the very painful and harmful practices of actual cults and we need to mindful of that," she warns.

But in the context of problematic online communities, Ms Kropkowski says "there is something worth interrogating there".

"When people use the world culty they are referring to a group that displays one or some of those methods that we commonly see in that total control group of what we call a cult."

So what are those methods, and how do we spot them when all we want is to bask in the love and support of a like-minded community?

What does it mean when we say culty or cultish?

A cult is a type of large social group that uses strategic methods to attract members, maintain its ideology, and coerce and control members into doing what the leader wants, explains Ms Kropkowski.

You might have seen that unfold in one of the many cult documentaries available on streaming services these days, where there is usually one charismatic leader.

That can look different in online groups, explains Ms Kropkowksi, because "they don't always have a central leader".

She says cults will usually have a vernacular that doesn't have meaning outside of the cult, exploit members for labour or finances, limit basic human rights, restrict access to loved ones and have high exit costs (not necessarily financial).

"A member will often display this feverish devotion and loyalty in a kind of performance way," Ms Kropkowski says.

Online communities that are culty or cultish may not have all these traits, but exhibit some form of psychological or emotional manipulation.

Margarit Davtian is a cult survivor and educator based in Los Angeles.

She uses her experience and background in applied psychology with a concentration in consumer behaviour to shed light on cult psychology via her podcast, Conscious Revolution.

Culty communities she's come across include health and wellness groups, self-help communities, fan pages, coaching scams and multi-level marketing.

Like the car-seat safety group Rae joined, Ms Davtian says: "I've seen parenting and child-rearing groups get pretty culty as well, where they promote a strict parenting philosophy with rigid guidelines."

Even something as innocuous as hair styling can attract followers who brutally shut down differing opinions.

Bonnie Duncan says what she thought was an online space to learn about taming her locks was more "like a religion".

The Queenslander aged in her 30s says if anyone posted about methods outside of those recommended by the group, they would be "torn to shreds", adding the vibe was "really toxic".

A healthy and supportive online community is open to feedback from its members and embraces opposing viewpoints, Ms Davtian says.

The signs to look for

While the consequences of being a part of an online community that's a bit culty might not be as devastating as joining an actual cult, Ms Davtian says people can still experience compromised mental, emotional and even physical well-being.

People may cut ties with family and friends who don't share the views of the group or experience a loss of self and identity, she warns.

Rae is still a member of the car seat safety group. She has notifications turned off and only engages when seeking specific advice.

Ms Kropkowski says the best way to determine if a group is a little but culty is to ask if it seems high-demand.

"If you feel good when you are there and that group is not making any demands of you, then that is probably a healthy group," she says.

If, however, it is asking for financial commitment, making social demands or saying you should perform and behave in certain ways, that could be concerning, Ms Kropkowski says.

"Is this group asking you to hate, or ostracise a group of people or behaviour?" she says.

"That would be a big red flag."

Ms Davtian says you can be involved in an online community "without joining their cult" by "maintaining healthy boundaries and practising a healthy dose of doubt and skepticism".

"Don't go all in. Take what serves you, leave the rest."