What to consider before donating sperm to a fertility clinic

Donating sperm wasn't something Daniel had ever considered before meeting his wife Maria, who was conceived using a donor.

"It opened my eyes a lot [to donor conception] and after meeting her donor father, and seeing how humble and kind and generous this man was … I was like, 'wow, what a man'," says Daniel, aged in his 40s and based in regional Victoria.

Daniel and Maria have asked we not use their real names to protect their privacy.

"Then when we had [our son] and I could experience fatherhood, it was a no-brainer," he says of wanting to donate his own sperm.

"We conceived pretty quickly as well, so I knew I had some swimmers. We were too old to have a big family so we were like, 'let's help others'."

The topic of donation has made news headlines recently, with the opening of Australia's first free public egg and sperm bank.

Wanting to help families is one of the most common reasons men in Australia donate sperm, explains Narelle Dickinson, a fertility counsellor and clinical and health psychologist based in Brisbane.

In Australia it is illegal to take payment for any human tissue, including sperm.

"We rely on altruistic donation," Dr Dickinson, who is also a board member of The Fertility Society of Australia and New Zealand, says.

"Often it's driven by seeing a loved one experience fertility issues."

But while donating sperm can be considered a generous act, there is a lot to consider before doing so.

And experts say keeping the potential children conceived through the donor process top of mind will help guide you.

This is general information only. For detailed personal advice you should see a qualified medical professional.

A quick note

This article focuses on donating sperm through a fertility clinic in not-known relationships.

You can also donate to someone you know via a clinic, which offers protections unregulated and informal sperm donation does not.

Before you can donate

Potential sperm donors are required to meet certain criteria, and will be screened for infectious diseases and required to complete genetic health questionnaires.

Because your fertility will be tested, Dr Dickinson says people should be prepared for the possibility they will learn it's compromised.

Daniel says the screening is "pretty hectic".

"It was a lot more involved than I initially expected. Numerous forms and tests and screenings – that kind of thing."

Potential donors are also required to undertake sessions with a fertility counsellor.

"The medicals are about physical suitability … [but there is a] focus on motives and making sure you think through all the potential ramifications for yourself and your family," says Karin Hammarberg, senior research officer with VARTA, Victoria's assisted reproductive treatment authority.

Family considerations

Donating sperm has implications for family members, so if relevant, it's important to talk to your partner and existing children before you commit to donating, says Dr Dickinson, adding partners should attend the counselling sessions.

Speaking to your parents and siblings can also raise perspectives worth considering.

"You may find among your friendship group there are other men who have thought about this," Dr Dickinson says.

While you will be required to see the clinic's fertility specialist, it's a good idea to speak to your GP as another professional sounding board.

Daniel says he and wife Maria had extensive conversations about the pros and cons, and he sought advice from her donor father.

"There are so many unknowns, it is a bit scary," he says.

Thinking about the future

Sperm donation is not just the giving of genetic material, warns Dr Dickinson.

"Sperm becomes babies, babies become children, children become adults."

Anonymous sperm donation in Australia has not been allowed since 2005. A donor-conceived person has the right to apply for identifying details of the donor when they turn 16 or 18, depending on their state or territory.

But as Dr Dickinson explains, it's likely donor-conceived children will learn about their conception earlier, and may seek out the biological parent through genetic testing services.

She says people considering donation need to think "beyond the now".

"They really need to be actively thinking about how they will be needing to respond to that person who is likely to have a lot of curiosity about who they are from a biological point of view," she says.

Dr Dickinson has seen clients who believe they are "not required" to have a relationship with the biological child or children yet, "whether they envisage it or not, that donor-conceived person is going to want to know more about themselves and therefore more about him".

Equally, donors hoping for a relationship with donor-conceived children in the future need to understand children may never seek them out or be interested in more than "brief contact".

Maria says as a donor-conceived person, she is "overjoyed" herself and Daniel can help others create their own family.

"Meeting someone who is so open-minded about the donor process has been very comforting for not only our relationship, but also shifting the stigma attached to the donor program," she says.

"I grew up thinking I was drastically different to my peers based on my conception, I am so proud now that donor conception — egg, sperm, surrogate — has become so normalised.

"Having experienced a positive outcome with my journey ensures we can also shift this mindset."

Not all donor-conceived people have positive experiences however, with many expressing feelings of confusion and betrayal.

Listening to different perspectives is a crucial part of guiding your decision, says Dr Hammarberg, adding everyone involved in the child's conception needs to think about the child's needs first.

"That means leaving doors open, being honest, telling from the very beginning.

"If a donor-conceived child finds out by accident, or a tricky family situation, or from someone that shouldn't have told them, you can see these things of course can be damaging."

'Do your research'

Daniel decided to donate to a known family via a clinic, rather than donating to unknown families because in that scenario, he was asked to consent to a minimum of six families using his sperm.

"I was actually quite sad and frustrated that was a rule," he says.

In Victoria, a maximum of 10 women can have any number of children from the same donor.

Minimum and maximum family requirements vary depending on where you live and what clinic you go through.

Daniel has since helped a family he had an existing relationship with become pregnant with their first child.

He says anyone considering sperm donation should do their research and understand the process can take time.

"The support and the counsel you get from the clinic, it minimised the anxiety [for me]," Daniel says. 

"If anyone was thinking about it, I would recommend taking the plunge and having that first chat.

"You can pull out at any moment, pardon the pun."