What I wish I'd said to the young mum I saw crying in a cafe

Desperate for my morning coffee, I stopped in at a suburban shopping centre bright and early one day last week.

Barely 9am, the building was slowly coming to life for the day, with shopkeepers pushing up roller doors as I walked past.

I found a coffee shop, ordered my latte and slid into a seat against the back wall.

The café was empty except for two older women having what looked like a regular morning catch-up. They busily chatted on, oblivious to me sitting alone as the waiter passed me my coffee.

Coffee shops can be a refuge for new parents

Scrolling on my phone, my coffee almost gone, a young mum and a toddler parked their shopping trolley a few tables away and sat down.

The fresh-faced mother was smiling at her gorgeous little girl as she bounced on the seat next to her. Probably one-and-a-half years old, she watched on patiently as her mum unpacked a lunch box of snacks. Cheese squares, carrot sticks and sultanas.

The little girl grabbed a handful of food, squished it into her mouth and looked up, realising I was watching.

The chubby face quickly disappeared behind the chair before popping up again with an enormous cheeky grin. She pointed at me and told her mum she was playing peek-a-boo.

Five minutes of stillness in an adult world and, hopefully, some time to enjoy the company of a well-behaved young toddler.

The waiter arrived at their table with a large mug of coffee and a babycino with the all-important marshmallow on the side.

"Wow, look at that." I was barely able to hear her, but I was very familiar with the overly positive tone in the young mum's voice.

The little girl distracted by the offerings, forgot about me and settled into her morning treat.

That's when I noticed the mum quietly wiping away tears.

The little girl looked up from her cup and pointed to her mothers' cheeks.

Then climbing up onto her knees, she gently touched the wet trails on her mum's face.

"What's that?"

"They're tears." The mother smiled back and quietly brushed them away.

The two of them sipped their drinks and for the next few minutes I watched on as the mum continued to silently wipe away tears.

I know the loneliness of stay-at-home parenting

When I was a young mum, I struggled with the emotional load of parenting. Yes, we all know it comes with sleepless nights and endless washing, but I had no idea of the loneliness that being a stay-at-home parent brings.

And the constant, brutal, internal dialogue: questioning your choices; comparing yourself to other mums who've returned to work; trying to stay positive in the never-ending hamster wheel of the everyday.

Sometimes it builds up so much that you are more than comfortable to sit in a coffee shop and cry.

Perhaps I should ask to join her. Or does she just want to be left alone? Maybe it's something much bigger.

I watched on trying to summon up the courage to do something, say something. But then I decided no, it's none of my business.

I could buy her a cupcake, or perhaps find her some flowers and just leave them on her table and keep walking. Cowardly, I stayed stuck to my seat.

Suddenly she stood up and, smiling down at her little girl, packed the box of snacks, gently lifted her child back into the trolley and walked away.

That night at home I told my 16-year-old daughter what happened. She scolded me for not doing anything.

"Mum, you would have growled at me if I was in your position. Why didn't you go and see if she was OK?"

Honestly? I have no idea. What would I have said to her? What difference would it have made?

Unfortunately, I know exactly how a kind word from a stranger can make all the difference.

So, to the young mum out there — I'm sorry.

Mandy McCracken is an ABC Regional Storyteller Scholarship recipient living in Central Victoria. She loves to have a chat and find what makes a person unique. She's also a quadruple amputee, disability advocate, speaker and writer.