Preparing your child for starting school

It's that time of year when your (now not so little) children are just a few weeks away from starting primary school.

Some children might be all set to go, others more nervous. There may be tears — from parents too.

Maggie Dent, host of podcast Parental As Anything, along with ABC Radio Sydney listeners share their tips for getting your child ready for their first day.

Back to basics: Make sure your child knows how to open a lunch box

The holidays ahead of the first term are a great time to build up some basic and practical skills your child will need for school. Opening and closing a lunch box is one of them.

For many students, having a pre-packed recess and lunch is a new routine from being at home or at daycare.

"So the more competent they are with simple things, then the more competent they are.

"I had one mum talk to me about how she was concerned with a son who wasn't eating his lunch. She thought it was because he was anxious … week three she finally got out of him he can't open it."

The Australian parenting website Raising Children suggests choosing a lunch box and drink bottle with the easy-to-open lid, and to get your child used to eating from their lunch box by using it at preschool, during a picnic lunch at home or in the park.

Familiarity with foods and lunch boxes are both tips ABC Radio Sydney listeners agree with.

Picnicking with a new lunch box and water bottle before the first day helps in case they are difficult to open or different to what they are used to.

— Sam

Find out recess and lunch time and get them used to eating the same type food they will take to school at those times.

— Unnamed 

Knowing how to use a communal bathroom

Sometimes it's the pragmatic things, like going into a toilet cubicle and locking it, that can be easily forgotten as being a new skill for our children.

ABC Radio Sydney listener Penny says that before her daughter started school, the school principal suggested they explore the school grounds on the weekends so the students could familiarise themselves with the environment.

"Even finding out where the bathrooms are so she knows the route between her [class]room and the bathroom," Penny says.

"You've already gone through the toilet trips, but learning how to close a cubicle is also very important. Because the dexterity might not be there and kids at preschool just don't have cubicle doors, so they just pull their pants down. Privacy is something that they need to learn."

The NSW Department of Education says to support your child to gain independence in the bathroom, including using the urinal for boys and good handwashing technique.

As an occupational therapist running a prep-for-school class, I always encouraged dads to take little boys to toilets and teach them to use a urinal — saves accidents in first week.

— Unnamed

Help your child separate from you

Children are biologically wired to fear being separated from the grown-ups they feel safest with, according to Maggie Dent.

"Anytime that children are going to be cared for by a different significant grown-up, then it takes time for that grown-up to feel safe [to them]," she says.

"That really is why a lot of our children can be really wobbly, sometimes they regress so they'll go back to thumb-sucking, wetting the bed or wanting to crawl back into bed with you because they're actually in a fear state.

Similarly for parents, it's normal to feel worried or sad about your child heading off to school. The school guide issued by the Victorian Government suggests talking with other parents about how you're feeling can help. Do seek professional mental help for further support.

Maggie suggests organising a play date with other children and meeting up with other parents before the first day can help.

"If we are able to find a familiar face for children, we know that the friendships make an enormous difference.

"If there's a child they know as they're coming into the school gate, there's a chance they will be more keen [to go]."

If you know anyone else starting at your child's school, organise at least one play date in the Xmas holidays between the kids so at least they have a friend they can connect with on the first day. Also, as a parent, engage with your children's school in any way you can, e.g. volunteer for canteen. The kids that adjust the best are the ones whose parents get involved in some way with their child's school.

— Helen

Pause the after-school activities

For many students, attending school five days a week is a huge adjustment.

Some might continue to have a lot of energy after school, while others will take some time to adjust to the new routine.

Expect that your child might come home really tired after school and so consider pausing some of their extracurricular activities for a few weeks.

First-time students come home really tired. Make sure you have very well established sleep times to ensure they don't get overtired and grumpy.

— David

My kids were very tired for a good six months, and tired meltdowns after school were common.

— Unnamed

Stop all extracurricular activities until they adjust to school life. They will be exhausted! Be ready for the meltdowns. They miss having lots of time to play, with much more structure and indoor time in [the first year of school].

— Unnamed

Other tips:

• Be excited and enthusiastic about your child starting school, says Raising Children. This sends your child the positive message that school is exciting and that they'll cope and have fun.
• Read a children's book about starting school with your child. Daisy's First Day is a book shared by the NSW Department of Education that you can print and read together.
• Have your child wear their new school shoes for a few days, and practise doing up laces or buckles. Also try on their uniform at home and make sure it still fits!
• Choose a school bag that's comfortable, and check if they need any other school items like a library bag.