Ways to start closing the superannuation gender gap in your relationship

While I'm no money expert, I like to think I'm pretty across my finances.

But when I recently saw feminist Clementine Ford discussing the superannuation gender gap, I realised I'd grossly overlooked the one in my own relationship.

The gap sees women retire with far less than men. It's as high as 47.8 per cent in some age groups.

Many women who dedicate a large portion of their lives to raising children face poverty and homelessness in their retirement years.

After the birth of my son last year, I took time off work to care for him, and have returned part-time to continue doing so.

My partner works full-time. He salary sacrifices. I don't.

We pool our incomes and share our debts (AKA the mortgage) — but superannuation is an inequity we haven't addressed.

And to be completely transparent, I initially wanted to write this article to show exactly what we did.

But the mental load of dealing with it became too much for me.

And that in itself is a gendered issue.

Still, I got some helpful advice from experts along the way — and it's given me a starting point for what we need to do when we're ready to tackle it.

Hopefully you'll find it helpful, at the very least in recognising if there is a gap in your relationship too, and planning for how you can close it.

The motherhood penalty

The recent federal budget provided sobering evidence of how motherhood in Australia condemns women to a lifelong economic penalty.

As well as time out of the workforce for caring responsibilities having an adverse impact on earnings, it can also lead to a "perception that women's skills have depreciated", Treasury explains, "and can mean that women return to lower-status or lower-paid roles".

Superannuation is just one aspect of the motherhood penalty, but for women in a relationship with a partner willing to lessen the penalty wherever they can, it's one financial arm we have control over improving.

Things to consider when addressing your own gap

There are so many variables when it comes to individual superannuation that it makes it difficult to provide specific financial advice.

But financial advisor Kate McCallum, based in Sydney, says there are some broad things to think about. 

The first thing to note is taking an approach that it 'doesn't matter who has what because if you break up it gets divided 50/50 anyway' is a dangerous one.

"It doesn't always go that way and can cause a lot of arguments," says Ms McCallum.

She says balancing superannuation in a relationship benefits both parties.

"For example, it gives them more flexibility in the long run to put money into super, because there are caps on how much you can ultimately have in a super fund.

"So there are rational benefits, not just emotional ones."

Ms McCallum says while tax savings are a good thing to consider when looking at how to bump up our super, it's not everything.

Spouse contributions, super contribution splitting, salary sacrificing and topping up after-tax contributions are four options to look at, Ms McCallum says.

For us, I thought it would be as simple as splitting the amount my partner currently salary sacrifices between us.

But there are smarter ways to maximise the tax savings given he is the higher income earner — spouse contributions might be most beneficial, for example.

We also need to take into account how much super each of us actually has, and how that money is invested.

Because it is quite complex, it is best to engage a financial adviser if you can afford to.

You could also see if your super fund offers free advice — many do.

If you're experiencing money stress, a financial counsellor will be more appropriate.

But Ms McCallum says a "broad-brush rule" is if you have some savings, and can salary sacrifice, then do it.

"It's a good thing to do, particularly if you are earning over $45,000 a year."

(If you're earning less than that, salary sacrificing isn't as beneficial because the tax savings are minimal, but that doesn't mean you can't top up your super anyway if in a position to do so.)

The mental load

Where I fell short in this venture was my capacity to deal with our super gap at this point in time.

After seeing Ford's Instagram stories, I raised it with my partner and he immediately agreed we should be topping up my super.

We're on the same page about closing the gap, but neither of us really has the headspace right now to work out the best way to go about it.

In the meantime, I've started making a small salary sacrifice until we can sit down and nut out a better plan.

Ms McCallum says it's often women who are left to solve this issue, but couples need to have a "shared view of money".

"Otherwise it just puts a kink in the armour of how you work together in a relationship."

Tips for chatting with your partner

If you feel ready to have a conversation about the gap in your relationship, couples and family therapist Sian Khuman has some advice.

She says it's important to research and be prepared ahead of the conversation. The next step is to flag you want to have a discussion.

"Say something like, 'Hey just wondering if we can chat about our superannuation?' and ask if there is a time that suits to sit down and chat about it," says Ms Khuman, adding it's important to choose a time and place without distractions.

"When you do sit down and talk about it, stick to the facts," she says.

If you find that it starts to turn into a debate, Ms Khuman suggests bringing the topic back into focus.

She recommends coming at it from the intention of: How do we both want us to be set up in the future just in case something happens to our relationship? What's the best thing for us both?

If your partner isn't familiar with the superannuation gender gap, send them some resources, such as those from the Workplace Gender Equality Agency.

And if you aren't making progress, Ms Khuman says seeking the support of a couple's therapist might help.

This article contains general information only. You should consider obtaining independent professional advice in relation to your particular circumstances.