Five lessons from my first road trip as a solo parent with three teenagers

When my husband booked a trip to the USA to bury his grandmother, I decided to organise a mother-daughters holiday at the same time, to keep my FOMO in check.

Like everyone, we'd had a gruelling two and a half years in and out of home schooling.

And although we managed a very brief escape between Victorian lockdowns, another three weeks of school holidays stuck in the house would be enough to ignite a home-based mutiny.

Yes, I was slightly terrified to be travelling without hubby, so I was aiming for nothing too challenging. 

After 1,380 kilometres, four enormous bags of lollies and three tanks of petrol, here's what I've learnt.

Lesson 1: Decide on a destination and stick to it

My eldest, 17, has been asking to go to the Great Barrier Reef for years. But since this was my first holiday as a sole parent, plus with my recent disability, snorkelling would be a real challenge.

I was hoping for something a little easier and closer to home, just in case it all fell apart.

So after some long and taxing negotiations, my three teenage girls reluctantly packed the car and we (really it was I) decided to head north to Canberra.

Lesson 2: My holiday highlights would be very different to those of the kids

Thanks to downloaded playlists, the seven-hour drive was relatively quiet. But as we passed the Dog on the Tucker Box, the Ettamogah Pub and Holbrook's weirdly situated inland submarine, the kids barely made a peep.

For me, these were the landmarks of my own childhood road trips. For the kids, these family photo opportunities sadly dissolved into simply leaning out the window as the car rolled past.

For the girls, it was the little things on this trip that had brought back the giggles that I had so sorely missed.

All three of them loved the fake snow at the Christmas in July festival and playing hide and seek in the Botanical Gardens.

And what surprised me the most was when even the crankiest kid enjoyed the daggy old train ride through the miniature Tudor village at Cockington Green Gardens.

Even simply sitting in bed together each night watching bad television was exactly what we all needed.

Lesson 3: Do your homework and begin on a high 

On our first full day in the city, we discovered the Telstra Tower was closed and the fun of trying to guess the country as we drove past the embassies didn't really tick any teenagers' boxes.

After a disappointing lunch at a rather weird restaurant, I took the kids to the bonsai collection at the Arboretum.

Thankfully the chance to run around a garden lightened the mood and, for the two of us that were interested, the bonsai were incredible.

As we finished the day eating dinner in front of Netflix, I was missing another adult to share the responsibility of getting this right.

"You know I could be home right now, hanging out with my friends."

Sitting on the couch with arms crossed, my eldest was not impressed. Had I really stuffed this up? 

"Ok, then what do you want to do tomorrow?" I asked.

When all three answered in unison "I dunno" it was definitely time to make some firmer decisions.

"Right then," I announced. "For day two we were all going to Old Parliament House, aka The Museum of Democracy."

Lesson 4: Even for teenagers, the 'boring' places can be magical

With my headstrong 17-year-old mumbling something about white male privilege as we arrived, it was great to see the Aboriginal Tent Embassy defiantly going strong across the road.

I was delighted when, as we sat on the plush green couches of the Lower House, our tour guide highlighted the impact women have had on our system of government.

He also suggested an exhibition called Changemakers showcasing the activists, icons and allies behind 120 years of women's rights and I especially loved Natasha Stott Despoja's worn-out Doc Martin shoes.

Encased in glass, she wore them on her first day as a newly elected senator aged only 26.

My daughter has the same shoes hiding underneath her bed back at home.

As a 17-year-old on the cusp of her career it did feed her anger on a job yet to be finished. But for me, almost 50, the exhibition showed the brilliance of women's grit and determination.

Lesson 5: The world is full of places everyone needs to go to, even if it's just once

A highlight was the Australian War Memorial. Inside is a head spinning display of machines and memorabilia. Then, in surprising contrast, you find yourself released out into the courtyard where the silence is deafening.

As my eldest placed a poppy next to my grandfather's name on the Roll of Honour, my voice caught and for a brief moment I held back tears.

The never-ending wall of red flowers is truly unbelievable and later, as the four of us stood over the tomb of the unknown soldier, I immediately thought of the devastation continuing throughout Ukraine.

"Mum, what's an unknown soldier?"

Although I had the answer ready in my head, it simply wouldn't come out.

And as we did one final loop around the giant City Hill roundabout, my youngest said fond goodbyes to the hundreds of wild rabbits living in the heart of our nation's capital.

Her happy voice told me that perhaps our eight days in Canberra was only one day too many.