When Sasha finally fell pregnant after an endometriosis diagnosis and miscarriages, her relief soon turned to fear

After two miscarriages and an endometriosis diagnosis, Sasha Andersson calls her twin girls, Keira and Isla, miracle babies.

"It took us five and a half years to get my kids when I was at my most fertile," Sasha says.

"It did a number on my mental health."

Sasha first experienced challenges with her mental health when she became a graduate teacher in the remote outback town of Leigh Creek in South Australia.

Away from her support systems and partner, she struggled to cope with the pressures new teachers face.

Sasha had her heart set on having children and returned to her partner's hometown of Hawker, in South Australia's Flinders Ranges, where they continued their journey to conceive.

After a few years of trying, the couple decided to look further into their infertility, while Sasha struggled to cope with some heartbreaking loss.

"I had multiple blood tests, scans, miscarriages and chemical pregnancies," she says.

Reaching what she describes as a breaking point several times, there finally seemed to be some hope.

A hope of diagnosis

"I went on antidepressants and my GP suspected I had endometriosis," she says.

Sasha immediately went in for laparoscopic surgery, discovering that she did indeed have endometriosis.

A few months later, Sasha found out she was pregnant with twins.

Before they arrived, Sasha wanted to make sure she had the right support systems in place.

"I have a history of yo-yo mental health. I knew there was a risk.

"I wanted to help avoid postpartum anxiety and depression as much as I could."

Despite her fears, Sasha had two healthy girls — her "rainbow babies".

She says the fears she held during pregnancy fell away once Isla and Keira were born.

"I don't know how much of that was luck, having healthy babies or the prep work.

"Obviously twins are a lot, and living rurally can be a lot, but I was able to get off my antidepressants earlier this year."

Help is on its way

Feeling confident in the state of her mental health, Sasha wasn't going to say no to some extra help.

A social worker from the Women's and Children's Health Network came to visit Sasha from Port Augusta as part of the local Child and Family Services for new parents.

The social worker told Sasha about the Attachment and Biobehavioral Catch-up (ABC) parent program, an initiative developed at the University of Delaware focusing on foster children and their relationship with attachment.

Now finding its way to the South Australian outback, the ABC program has moved from predominantly foster children to new mums who may have faced some adversity in their lives.

"I'm a believer in attachment parenting anyway, so I welcomed the opportunity to discuss how and why I am parenting my children," Sasha says.

"Every mum wants to do the best they can."

Assistant Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Delaware, Caroline Roben, helped to develop the program and says attachment has been studied for years. 

Dr Roben says early relationships as newborns are where needs are first met, and that can become overwhelming for anyone who has experienced trauma.

"We ask parents to reflect on the ways that their earlier experiences might be influencing their parenting," she says.

"For someone who has had a lot of harder earlier experiences that type of reflection can be pretty powerful.

"The response that trauma causes might not ever go away, but recognising it is the greatest strength."

'Monitoring myself'

Sasha knows that while things seem OK for now, they can always change.

Recently, she and the twins went through a rough patch.

Her husband went away for work and she immediately noticed a change in the girls' behaviour.

Despite bumps in the road, she says her "mental health is the best it's been in a long time".

"But, I'm still monitoring myself."