Understanding my shopping habit has helped me break it

It all started at my Holy Communion when I was seven years old.

While the other girls wore white frilly dresses and had halos of baby's breath in their hair, I wore this beautiful white long-sleeved dress with fake fur around the collar and cuffs that my Nonna had made, styled off my cousin Katie's wedding dress.

In Polynesian fashion, my cousin Sina braided my hair back and tied it off with a white lace ribbon.

To this day my mum still talks about how I looked the epitome of sophistication and fashion as I put my fur-trimmed hands on the lectern to deliver the First Reading.

Everyone loved that dress and it's my first real memory of being complimented for what I was wearing.

Little did I know I would spend the next couple of decades chasing that reaction to my clothes.

Psychological impact of clothes buying habit

When you've got a lot of clothes, most people think the biggest impact is financial. And while my wallet has definitely taken a hit, in the back of my mind I've always been concerned about the psychological impact my clothes buying habit was having.

My decision to not buy any new clothes this year was for two main reasons: wanting to be more sustainable and addressing the psychological reasons behind my retail therapy.

Enter wardrobe whisperer Dr Dawnn Karen who is a pioneer in fashion psychology. Her book Dress Your Best Life explores not just how clothes make you look but also how they make you feel.

Dr Karen is the first black female psychology professor at New York's Fashion Institute of Technology, and as a former model I was hopeful her love of fashion wouldn't lead her to advising me to practise apparel abstinence. The truth is I love clothes and fashion so I wanted real tips on how to buy clothes with purpose.

From the moment she talked about buying clothes as a way to feel in control, using clothes to portray the kind of person you want to be, and using clothes to both physically and mentally cover up parts of yourself you're not happy with, I knew I was talking to the right person for me.

Dr Karen has different theories about why we dress the way we do.

The ones that really spoke to me and my experience are mood enhancement theory' and 'repetitious wardrobe concept'.

Mood enhancement theory is when we dress to optimise our current mood — so, we might wear bright colours to feel brighter and happier.

I definitely do this.

Prior to this year's shopping ban, when I wanted to come across as fun and funky on a date or for an event I'd go out and buy some kind of statement piece that would project how fun I was. On the contrary, if I had a meeting where I wanted people to take me seriously then I would go out and buy an item that gave off that ladyboss vibe.

The theory of Dr Karen's that really spoke to me, though, is the repetitious wardrobe concept where you feel like you can't repeat an outfit or wear the same item twice because you're concerned by what people might say for outfit repeating.

I know that feeling well — it's why I only wear some of my clothes once or twice a year.

But this year I am more aware than ever of the wastefulness around that behaviour and the insecurities I am feeding through it.

So, how do I fix my clothes shopping habit?

Shop with intention

If you are going to buy clothes then Dr Karen says you should "shop with intention".

"It means going into a shopping experience, online or in store, and knowing exactly what you want and then only getting that item.

"I also tell people to save the item and put it in their cart and ask yourself questions like. 'Do I want this or do I just want it now?' and 'Does the price impact why I want this?'" Dr Karen says.

As someone who online shops and often organises her search items priced from low to high, I immediately felt this in my bones.

While not trying to blame my mum or Nonna, the fact is I come from generations of women who love both fashion and a bargain — you compliment us on our clothes and we'll tell you where we bought it and how much we paid.

Build a relationship with the clothes you have

Dr Karen also recommends touching your clothes.

"This might sound strange but actually touching your clothes can make you remember when you wore it and how you felt in it.

"So engaging those senses by touching your clothes might make you feel like you don't need new clothes because you already have a relationship with the clothes you own."

If you're like me and get surprised when you find a jumper or shirt in your wardrobe you absolutely love but forgot about as it got pushed further and further to the back of your cupboard, then this is a practical and free solution to both remind you of the clothes you have and how they make you feel.

Putting theory into practice

This year I've allowed myself to shop at second-hand shops because I want this commitment to last long after the year is over, and second-hand online op shops have been a great place for me to practise better shopping habits.

During the pandemic Salvo's have opened an online store but other online staples have been vintage shops and those that sell clothes on consignment.

I still get the thrill of shopping in a sustainable way but I now ask myself: Why do I need it? How often will I wear it? And do I already own something like it?

When I bought a vintage Space Jam T-shirt on a vintage clothing site, I looked at it for days and mentally curated outfits I could wear it with before committing to the purchase.

When it arrived I actually felt good rather than guilty because I knew I was being sustainable, I was supporting a small business and that I'd actually wear it!

I've also been facing my repetitious wardrobe complex by repeating the clothes I wear – and even having items on a two-week cycle is a huge improvement to the "one and done" wear I had been previously getting out of them.

Not buying new clothes for a year was never about deprivation; it was about breaking cycles and creating new healthy habits.

I actually look forward to getting dressed now because I know I'm dressing for me rather, than dressing for validation from others.